Characteristics of Godly Speech
Godly speech should be truthful. Ephesians 4:25 reminds us that we are to "put off falsehood and speak truthfully to [our] neighbor, for we are all members of one body." To save space, I contemplated leaving this first characteristic off the list. Afterall, we all know that God expects us to speak the truth don't we? Yes, truthfulness would seem to be an obvious choice, but given the age of relativistic morality in which we live, it helps to have a reminder of the importance of truth. Godly speech does not lie - either about someone or to someone.
Godly speech should be loving. Scripture not only compels us to speak the truth, but to speak to the truth in love (Eh 4.15). Truth by itself can be caustic. It must be tempered with love. For example, we have experience times in church life when a well-meaning but misguided young Christian embarked on a ministry assignment in a less than ideal manner (think of a new Christian woman working as a greeter that has dressed inappropriately). There are three ways to handle that situation. We can ignore it and say nothing. This response actually fails the young Christian because it is a failure to disciple the person and teach all that Jesus commanded. Second, we could walk right up and address the issue in a cold, heartless manner. This would qualify as speaking the truth, but it would be done in a way that would probably create discouragement and hesitancy in future ministry. That would be the truth without love. The third response, would be to gently sit that person down, away from the situation, and lovingly explain what was wrong and how they might do it right in the future.
Godly speech should be edifying. I have already alluded to this point in the previous paragraph, but it deserves additional focus. Paul's letter to the Ephesians provides additional guidance on this topic. In 4.29, Paul wrote, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Later he would say, "Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving (5.4)" The point is clear. Godly speech builds others up; it edifies. If you are concerned about whether or not something qualifies as gossip or godly speech, just ask whether or not you think it will build someone else up in the Lord.
Godly speech should be encouraging. Encouragement should actually be a goal of our speech! It is one of the primary reasons I established this blog. I wanted to encourage our members as they continued to grow in their understanding of what it means to be an authentic family of faith! In Hebrews 10, the author of that text commands his readers to "consider how [they] may spur one another on toward love and good deeds," and again says "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-- and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Encouragement and edification are related, but they are not the same. It is possible to edify someone by teaching them what is correct or appropriate, but to do so in a way that does not inspire them to greater service in the church. Scripture actually compels us to encourage one another to love and good deeds.
So when we are faced with a question of whether or not my speech is appropriate, I have to ask myself, "Will this encourage the person I am speaking with to greater use of their giftedness in the kingdom?" Don't misunderstand me here, this last characteristic does not mean we should all turn into Christian versions of Stuart Smalley: "I'm OK, you're OK, and doggone it, people like us!" It does mean, however, that we keep our goal in mind when we speak. Even a rebuke for a public sin should be given with the intent of drawing (and encouraging) that person to forsake their sin and return to the fold of God's fellowship from which he or she has strayed. The goal is to produce repentance, reconciliation, and eventual restoration, not to publicly lambaste them and make them think God or the church will not have them back.
Well there you have it. Four short guidelines for godly speech. What do you think? Did I miss something? Was there a stronger passage of Scripture I could of included?
I look forward to joining you in the discussion.
Chris
