In response to my comments about avoiding gossip (both here and elsewhere), I have been asked to define gossip. After all, it is difficult to avoid a particular behavior if you can't define it. I threw together some random thoughts this morning for you to review. I would eventually like to publish this as an article somewhere, so if you feel that I have left anything out, please let me know.
Chris
A Word About Gossip
Few attacks of the enemy are as destructive in the life of the church as the presence of unmitigated gossip. It is a poison that defiles, weakens, and divides the church. Because gossip is such a threat to ALL churches, we must be prepared to defend our family of faith from its negative consequences. I will approach this task in two installments. First, I will help you learn to identify gossip. Second, I will provide biblical guidance about wholesome speech.
A biblical definition of gossip reveals several different aspects of our speech that must be considered.
First and foremost, gossip is malicious speech, intended to spread vitriol about someone else. In Ephesians 4.31, the Apostle Paul commands the church to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." These are behaviors that are unacceptable for someone that has been redeemed by Jesus Christ. Again in Hebrews 12:15, we are commanded to "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Christians are commanded to keep their motives in check and to protect the church from themselves when they are angry. A question you can ask yourself if you are unsure if speech qualifies as gossip is this, "What is my motive for sharing this information or concern about someone else?" If your motive is hurtful, spiteful, or intended to express frustration with someone else, you are better off keeping it to yourself.
Second, gossip violates a confidence. In Proverbs 11:13, we learn that "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret." This truth is affirmed by Proverbs 20.19 as well, "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much." The point is clear. We should avoid speech that shares information we are not permitted to share. The second question to ask is, "Do I have permission to share this information about someone else?" In order to keep confidences we must be careful to avoid the ubiquitous "prayer request" which is really a guise to pass along "juicy" information. If you need to pass along a prayer request that includes information that is either sensitive or privileged, leave the person's name out of it. If you feel the need to give guidance on how to pray, leave the details vague enough that your prayer partners don't know who you are talking about. God is omniscient. He will know the name and details of the prayer request as it is offered without being told.
Third, gossip creates division in the church. Proverbs 16:28 teaches us that "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends." Later in the same book, Solomon reminds the reader that "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much (20.19)." Not only are we commanded to avoid divisive speech, we are commanded to avoid those who partake in it as well. The reason to avoid the man who talks too much is that he can have an adverse affect on how we a particular situation or person. A final question to ask when you want to know whether or not your conversation qualifies as gossip is "Does this conversation create unity in my church or will it lead to division?" As a church, we must work to protect the unity of our fellowship at all times.
It is important to remember that the proverbs are divinely inspired general principles, nt absolute universal laws. In other words, there may be situations when they do not apply. For example, if a friend mentions that they are contemplating suicide, it would be acceptable to violate that confidence for the sake of intervention. In this case your concern for and value of human life would trump the need to keep the information confidential. Basically, the issue of motive would outweigh need for confidence.
I haven't touched on every issue, but I think this provides a start for the discussion. What do you think? Have I left anything out? Is there a hypothetical situation you would like me to address? Are there verses on which you would like me to comment?
I look forward to hearing from you soon,
Chris
