Reflections on a Week as a Single Parent

My wife has been gone on a business trip since Monday. As I sit here waiting on her flight home (which has been delayed - again), I must say that I now have a greater understanding of the destructive consequences divorce has in the home. For the past week I have been a single father with two lovely children. As far as kids go, mine are fairly tame and follow parental guidance well. In spite of their (mostly) good behavior, this week has been a nightmare. There just is not enough time in the day to do all that needs to be done raising a family if you are on your own.

I have somehow managed to get through this week. I got the kids to school on time (well at least I did twice). I fed them high quality breakfasts of pop-tarts and diet coke in the car on the way to school (late). I made sure they got their homework done, prayed with them, played with them, and genuinely let them know how much our home suffered without their mama. I managed to accomplish all of this because my job as a pastor allows me certain perks (like studying for sermons at 2:00 a.m.). I have no idea how single parents with inflexible schedules managed to get it done. My guess is that many of them manage to get by, but that's about it. If this week has served any purpose in my life, it has been used by God to reaffirm the importance of healthy, two-parent homes in developing godly children. God just did not intend for us to do it by ourselves. I know. I know. We can all point to examples of single parents that have gotten it done on their own. They are the exception. Even if it is possible to raise healthy children in single parent homes (I will be the first to admit that I am not Mr. Mom and so my view is skewed), that approach is less than ideal. There is a reason Scripture includes numerous admonitions to both husbands and wives to be involved in the rearing of godly children: it is a two person job.

In light of this awakening, I am as committed as ever to including the following elements in the ministry of CrossRoad Church.

1) We must reach out to single parents and their children in an effort to show the compassion of Jesus Christ and help strengthen their homes. Children in single parent homes do not get to see healthy interaction between husbands and wives which helps build a foundation for stable homes in the future. Girls may not have female role models from which to learn. Boys may not have (healthy) male role models from which to learn. Kids that grow up in this environment basically start out life with several strikes against them. Healthy families must build strong relationships with these broken families that allows for encouragement, mentoring, and support.

2) We must teach frequently on marriage and relationships in our church. Older couples with healthy marriages must mentor younger couples and newly weds. Younger couples and newly weds must be willing to learn. We must refuse to marry couples in our church unless they submit to pre-marital counseling and that counseling should be geared to actually equip them to live in a marriage that brings glory and honor to God.

3) We must stand with couples when their marriages are in trouble, remind them that God hates divorce, and provide godly counseling and support to help them stay together.

4) We must encourage the men in our church to be men. Many marriages fall apart today because the "man" of the house is just another child that the mom needs to care for. A healthy home needs more than an adolescent in adult's clothing with a decent paying job. The lead characters from "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "According to Jim" may be humorous to watch on television, but they aren't integral parts of strong marriages in real life. Our wives need godly, responsible men that take the biblical admonitions to care for their wives and raise their children in the Lord seriously.

What do you think? Have I missed anything?