Does the Whole World Need to Know?

The comment was too good to remain buried at the bottom of the blog. In reference to an earlier post, which detailed our church's efforts to help a member in need, someone asked:

Shouldn't good deeds be left unspoken? Is it right to help someone and then talk about it? Don't get me wrong it sounds like you all really helped out somoene, but does the whole world need to know.

That is a good question. In fact it is one that produced quite a bit of debate amongst some attenders of CrossRoad Church prior to our launch. "Should we let the world see what we are doing or should we keep it on the down low?" The answer depends upon...you guessed it...your motives.
When we were preparing to launch our church, we had a few vocal attenders that thought it was wrong to take up a public offering because others could see who was giving to the church. The discussion then turned to Matthew 6.1-4, where Jesus said

1 Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Taking that verse to the extreme, some concluded that any "visible acts" of righteousness should be avoided (thus the disdain for a public offering. This conclusion raises a question, "Was Jesus' intent in this statement to ban all public acts of service or celebration of said facts? Given the context of the Sermon on the Mount as a whole, I would say no.

Consider the Words of Christ in in Matthew chapter 5:

14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on
its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let
your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your
Father in heaven.

Given these words "that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven," it is impossible to conclude that Jesus wanted us to keep all good acts a secret. The bigger issue being addressed is hypocrisy.

So in response to our good friend that left the earlier comment, the answer in this case is yes, the whole world does need to know. They need to know that God is good. They need to know that His Spirit has brought a group of unrelated people together in redemption and created a bond so tight that we will do whatever it takes to help each other bear their burdens in this life. The world needs to know see tangible evidence of God's love, compassion, and even providence toward his children. By celebrating what God has done to provide a repaired vehicle for our family in Christ we are hoping to do just that. We are not proud of what we have done (which would be hypocrisy and violate Matthew 6.1-4); we are proud of what God has done.

Thanks for a GREAT question. I look forward to hearing from you again.

Chris

A Word About Gossip, Part I

Last week I provided a post that dealt with the issue of conflict resolution. In my article, I cautioned everyone to avoid gossip. Gossip does not resolve issues; it only makes them worse. As Proverbs 26:20 teaches us, "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down."

In response to my comments about avoiding gossip (both here and elsewhere), I have been asked to define gossip. After all, it is difficult to avoid a particular behavior if you can't define it. I threw together some random thoughts this morning for you to review. I would eventually like to publish this as an article somewhere, so if you feel that I have left anything out, please let me know.

Chris

A Word About Gossip

Few attacks of the enemy are as destructive in the life of the church as the presence of unmitigated gossip. It is a poison that defiles, weakens, and divides the church. Because gossip is such a threat to ALL churches, we must be prepared to defend our family of faith from its negative consequences. I will approach this task in two installments. First, I will help you learn to identify gossip. Second, I will provide biblical guidance about wholesome speech.

A biblical definition of gossip reveals several different aspects of our speech that must be considered.

First and foremost, gossip is malicious speech, intended to spread vitriol about someone else. In Ephesians 4.31, the Apostle Paul commands the church to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." These are behaviors that are unacceptable for someone that has been redeemed by Jesus Christ. Again in Hebrews 12:15, we are commanded to "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Christians are commanded to keep their motives in check and to protect the church from themselves when they are angry. A question you can ask yourself if you are unsure if speech qualifies as gossip is this, "What is my motive for sharing this information or concern about someone else?" If your motive is hurtful, spiteful, or intended to express frustration with someone else, you are better off keeping it to yourself.

Second, gossip violates a confidence. In Proverbs 11:13, we learn that "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret." This truth is affirmed by Proverbs 20.19 as well, "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much." The point is clear. We should avoid speech that shares information we are not permitted to share. The second question to ask is, "Do I have permission to share this information about someone else?" In order to keep confidences we must be careful to avoid the ubiquitous "prayer request" which is really a guise to pass along "juicy" information. If you need to pass along a prayer request that includes information that is either sensitive or privileged, leave the person's name out of it. If you feel the need to give guidance on how to pray, leave the details vague enough that your prayer partners don't know who you are talking about. God is omniscient. He will know the name and details of the prayer request as it is offered without being told.

Third, gossip creates division in the church. Proverbs 16:28 teaches us that "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends." Later in the same book, Solomon reminds the reader that "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much (20.19)." Not only are we commanded to avoid divisive speech, we are commanded to avoid those who partake in it as well. The reason to avoid the man who talks too much is that he can have an adverse affect on how we a particular situation or person. A final question to ask when you want to know whether or not your conversation qualifies as gossip is "Does this conversation create unity in my church or will it lead to division?" As a church, we must work to protect the unity of our fellowship at all times.

It is important to remember that the proverbs are divinely inspired general principles, nt absolute universal laws. In other words, there may be situations when they do not apply. For example, if a friend mentions that they are contemplating suicide, it would be acceptable to violate that confidence for the sake of intervention. In this case your concern for and value of human life would trump the need to keep the information confidential. Basically, the issue of motive would outweigh need for confidence.

I haven't touched on every issue, but I think this provides a start for the discussion. What do you think? Have I left anything out? Is there a hypothetical situation you would like me to address? Are there verses on which you would like me to comment?

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Chris

Reflections on a Great Weekend

This past weekend was such a blessing to me personally. We had our second annual CrossRoad Crawfish Boil (with over 75 in attendance), we had a great worship service Sunday morning (in spite of the technical difficulties), and we were pirviliged to baptize two folks into the fellowship of our local church. What a great weekend!

The Crawfish Boil

Yes, that is my son in the picture above. It is hard to believe that God can use these little critters (crawfish - not kids) to produce fellowship among the saints such as we experienced Saturday afternoon. But fellowship is what we had. I received and cherished the opportunity to learn more about my brothers and sisters in Christ, I got to meet some of your friends and family who were visiting from out of town, and I got to feast on crawfish cooked perfectly by Stephen Lukinovich. A special word of thanks to Stephen who footed the bill to ship sixty pounds of live crawfish up from Louisiana for our special event. We had twice as many folks as last year. I look forward to reaching out to even more next year.

The Gathering

For those of you unfamiliar with CrossRoad's terminology, "The Gathering" is what we call our corporate worship service. It is a time when the saints gather to worship our creator as a body of believers. This Sunday was just a great day in the Lord. The hymns chosen by Todd Weedman taught us great theology and led us to reflect upon the majesty and holiness of God. We had a wonderful opportunity to pray for the Meldrums. We also had more first time guests join us than we have had on a single day since our launch back in September. I appreciate the way our members are striving to live missional lives and reach out to our community. Don't forget our media ministry. If you cannot get someone to join you for a worship service, perhaps you can get them to listen to a particular message on CD as they drive to work. Good job folks, Let's continue to reach out to our community with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Baptism

One of the greatest blessings of being a pastor is having the privilige to baptize new believers in Jesus Christ. The event itself is a testimony to God's work of redeeming lost sinners and provides a beautful picture of the gift of grace wrought in the life of the new believer. Sunday, as we baptized Maryn and David, I was reminded of the command to make disciples. Baptism is but a small portion of the Great Commission. Our work was not completed in their lives because we baptized them into membership in our church. Our work is just beginning. We now have an obligation to teach all that Christ commanded (that is discipleship in a nutshell, see Matthew 28.18-20).

David Breeden gets baptized...

Maryn Meldrum gets baptized...

The contrast in situations with each of these baptisms should serve as a reminder to approach children's baptisms with great care. David, who has been saved for over ten years, was baptized yesterday because over the course of the past few weeks he had come to the conclusion that he was "baptized" as an unbeliever when he was a child. Baptism is an ordinance of the church and is for believers only. If we baptize children that do not understand the gospel and have not responded savingly to the gospel, we risk giving them a false sense of security with regard to eternal life. Maryn is an example of a child that both understands and has responded to the gospel. The need to be careful does not mean that we should not baptize children or receive them into membership. We just need to proceed with caution.

I look forward to your comments or testimonies about baptism, fellowship, or how this past weekend was a blessing to you.

Yours in Christ,
Chris

Reflections on a Week as a Single Parent

My wife has been gone on a business trip since Monday. As I sit here waiting on her flight home (which has been delayed - again), I must say that I now have a greater understanding of the destructive consequences divorce has in the home. For the past week I have been a single father with two lovely children. As far as kids go, mine are fairly tame and follow parental guidance well. In spite of their (mostly) good behavior, this week has been a nightmare. There just is not enough time in the day to do all that needs to be done raising a family if you are on your own.

I have somehow managed to get through this week. I got the kids to school on time (well at least I did twice). I fed them high quality breakfasts of pop-tarts and diet coke in the car on the way to school (late). I made sure they got their homework done, prayed with them, played with them, and genuinely let them know how much our home suffered without their mama. I managed to accomplish all of this because my job as a pastor allows me certain perks (like studying for sermons at 2:00 a.m.). I have no idea how single parents with inflexible schedules managed to get it done. My guess is that many of them manage to get by, but that's about it. If this week has served any purpose in my life, it has been used by God to reaffirm the importance of healthy, two-parent homes in developing godly children. God just did not intend for us to do it by ourselves. I know. I know. We can all point to examples of single parents that have gotten it done on their own. They are the exception. Even if it is possible to raise healthy children in single parent homes (I will be the first to admit that I am not Mr. Mom and so my view is skewed), that approach is less than ideal. There is a reason Scripture includes numerous admonitions to both husbands and wives to be involved in the rearing of godly children: it is a two person job.

In light of this awakening, I am as committed as ever to including the following elements in the ministry of CrossRoad Church.

1) We must reach out to single parents and their children in an effort to show the compassion of Jesus Christ and help strengthen their homes. Children in single parent homes do not get to see healthy interaction between husbands and wives which helps build a foundation for stable homes in the future. Girls may not have female role models from which to learn. Boys may not have (healthy) male role models from which to learn. Kids that grow up in this environment basically start out life with several strikes against them. Healthy families must build strong relationships with these broken families that allows for encouragement, mentoring, and support.

2) We must teach frequently on marriage and relationships in our church. Older couples with healthy marriages must mentor younger couples and newly weds. Younger couples and newly weds must be willing to learn. We must refuse to marry couples in our church unless they submit to pre-marital counseling and that counseling should be geared to actually equip them to live in a marriage that brings glory and honor to God.

3) We must stand with couples when their marriages are in trouble, remind them that God hates divorce, and provide godly counseling and support to help them stay together.

4) We must encourage the men in our church to be men. Many marriages fall apart today because the "man" of the house is just another child that the mom needs to care for. A healthy home needs more than an adolescent in adult's clothing with a decent paying job. The lead characters from "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "According to Jim" may be humorous to watch on television, but they aren't integral parts of strong marriages in real life. Our wives need godly, responsible men that take the biblical admonitions to care for their wives and raise their children in the Lord seriously.

What do you think? Have I missed anything?